Do you consider this to be cheating?

Well, it isn't quite cheating necessarily, but it's as close as it could be, without totally crossing the line. It is at least incredibly stupid and asinine. Though, it MAY be cheating too. If it isn't cheating, then your wife has a couple screws loose in her head. I know I'd be waaaaaaayyyy past miffed. I would at the very least give your wife an ultimatum. Either divorce, or she ends all contact with the ex boyfriend FOREVER. It should be divorce, or she swears she will never have anything to do with the ex. No e-mail, snail mail, texting, western union, smoke signals, via mental telepathy, phone calls, messages ped through any other person, notes ped by anybody, or American sign language. Unless she swears to end all communication with the ex forever, file for divorce Monday.